[e-lang] Content Complete, Ready for Comments

Ka-Ping Yee e-lang at zesty.ca
Mon Jun 27 11:05:54 EDT 2005


I'll be submitting my comments piecemeal, since it's kind of a slow
process.  Here are comments on the first two chapters (please excuse
the blunt tone of each -- they are curt only for expediency).

Hope this helps.  More to come.


1.  Introduction
================

- Instead, we make use of mechanisms of abstraction
+ We make use of mechanisms for abstraction

    "Instead" is repeated in the preceding sentence.

- whose compositions we can again understand without fully understanding
- the components being composed.
+ whose compositions we can understand without fully understanding every
+ component being composed.

    This wording is clearer.

- To understand these twin problems, of separating components and of
- composing them [...] massive number of conflicting assumptions.

    Delete the paragraph.  The discussion of Hayek's work is a diversion
    from the topic of the paper, and is mostly redundant since it just
    restates what was said more succinctly in the first paragraph.

- But a single object cannot do much by itself.
+ A single object cannot do much by itself.

    This is consistent with the above change.

- Instead, both objects and markets use abstraction
+ Instead, objects use abstraction

    This is consistent with the above change.

- The problem Hayek was concerned with, how humans coordinate their plans
- with each other [...] figure out what to do at that time anyway.

    Delete this half-paragraph.  Again, it's a diversion, and pointing
    out how Hayek's problem is different from the paper's true subject
    only emphasizes the fact that it's a diversion.

- By contrast, when writing a program,
+ When writing a program,

    This is consistent with the above change.

- By abstraction, we limit one object's need for knowledge of others,
- reducing the cases of relevance, aiding composition.
+ By abstraction, we limit one object's need for knowledge of others,
+ reducing the size of the case analysis, thereby aiding composition.

    This wording is clearer.


2.  Overview
============

- Why Not Shared State Concurrency.
+ Why Not Shared-State Concurrency.

    "Shared state concurrency" should be hyphenated as "shared-state
    concurrency" everywhere in this paper (because "shared-state" is
    a compound adjective).

- JAVA
+ Java

    Remove the small-caps formatting from all the names of programming
    languages in this paper; it's jarring and anachronistic.

- Promise Pipelining introduces promises for the results of
- eventual-sent messages
+ Promise Pipelining introduces promises for the results of
+ eventually-sent messages

    For grammar, and for consistency with "eventually-thrown", stick
    to "eventually-sent" as the adjective for messages sent with the
    "eventual send" operator.

- The When-Catch explains
- The When-Catch Statement explains

    This is more consistent.

- From Object to Actors and Back Again.  This section presents
+ From Objects to Actors and Back Again presents

    This is more consistent.

- Discussion and Conclusions of current status,
+ Discussion and Conclusions summarizes current status,

    This is more consistent.



-- ?!ng


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